‘Twas the nightshift before Christmas, when all through the unit
All creatures were stirring, even at midnight.
The IV fluids were hung on the pole with care,
In hopes, the nurses would not wake the bear,
The patients once snug in their beds,
Now jumping over the rails, despite their meds.
And Betty Lou in her gown, and I with my mask,
Wrestling back to bed, proved quite the task.
Finally, back to the station, the nurses heard a clatter,
We sprang from our chairs to see what was the matter.
Into the next room, we flew in a flash
Tore open the curtain, and found the ash.
“You can’t smoke in this room, no!”
“If you don’t comply, then you may go.”
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Five visitors wandering the halls… Oh dear.
Only 2 visitors allowed, I said quick.
No exceptions, the policy must stick.
The patients, we could not keep tame,
They whistled, shouted, and called us by name.
“Nurse! Nurse! Call the doctor,
Help me! Help me! I have fallen!
Get me up, 911 I call!
Now, leave me alone all!”
As personal dangers arise,
bilateral upper limb restraints, we had to tie.
So, the clock slowly drew
Us, nurses were quite tired, too.
And then, in a twinkling, we heard some shoes,
“Here, take some candy and chocolate as a thank you.”
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
A bed was alarming all through the town.
A patient, undressed from his head to his foot
And, unfortunately, covered in what looked like soot.
Poop covered his back,
I no longer wanted my chocolate for a snack.
He just smiled and said to “Be Merry”.
Grinning from cheek to cheek, said his name was Larry.
We bathed and tucked him in, like so.
Maybe the night will settle, I hope.
It was Christmas, we reminded ourselves to seek.
A circle of urinals on the wall, we called a wreath.
Med-surg could be quite smelly,
But we did have treats that were filled with jelly.
Some of us dressed like elves,
Bringing some Christmas cheer into ourself.
The hours of 3-5am were always to dread.
Fighting sleep and simply dreaming of bed.
An IV beeping, going berserk.
Fluids and meds and tubing and stickers, back to work.
“Lab called about a critical, did you know?”
There is a do not call order in, MD chose.
30 more minutes… Come on, dayshift, Hustle!
Into my bed, I will soon nestle.
We gave report, and left out of sight.
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight”